There comes a time when a person has to reach beyond themselves, this is not an epic moment, sometimes its as small as getting the milk behind the cream in the fridge - its the choice to do so, to try, to make the effort and do something to make your smallest wishes come true that makes the start, and that makes the difference - not the act, the mind, attitude and spirit behind it each time we blink, every time we open our eyes or listen with our ears
it is beyond our senses and intentions, it is how we feel
and what we do about it.
Would it be beautiful for us or ugly? It is a choice and an attitude toward the action.
And yes I know that sounds so complex, but really its simple and its easy to find where your true heart lies and where it tells the truth
there is a small exercise that anyone can do and it takes three minutes
step one) read this sentance
step two) close your eyes and count to ten forwards then backwards
step three) focus on the last number in your mind and open your eyes
look at yourself, how are you sitting, how are you feeling, how are you breathing
what is your frame
of mind
and where was your soul from 2 to 10 and back again?
what ails you and what are you grateful for? who can you help today? what have you done for yourself lately?
you see we detach from ourselves so easilly, and its so hard to learn something when you are simply "not there" - life has a way of conseuring us into a drone like syndrome where we simply fulfill our roles and do whats expected and that means we might be doing a good job or a bad job and its inter-related and definative and congested until some way or another it pops and we smoke cigarettes or use drugs or drink or fuck or become addicted to money or success or worse, other people
its not us but what we stick to ourselves
like bad chewing gum or a washing machine with an uneven load that needs sevety five more cents
its a half-measure
it doesnt do its job but its not broken
we've simply mis used it
we do the same thing to ourselves
we mis use us
misused
and although there is no cure there is a solution
it begins where the question began
with us
again folks this is simple, just read
In most of the culture of the Castrati (it would be the equivilent of the houses of vogue in the 20th century) there was an infamy a level of delinquincy which brought the voices of angels to a studdering halt. The question of the Diocyces was why cannot they simply be voices, well honey we are not machines we are more complex - if you want a plant, pot it - however mess with a man's horemones and you have hell on your hands.
Fact: in all of nature we are female based, men are rare - there are approximately one male baby born for every eight female babies born and in eight of those females are infertile and one in six men are gay or "homosexual" and this is not limited to our species, it happens in squirrels, dolphins, swans, ivy, lions, and just about every friggin thing thats on our planet that has a split sex differentum, the males of our species specifically are geared to procreate as much as possible and as quickly as probable, unfortunately having a male baby means twice as much work as a female because females have something called "intuition" that unless they're gay men are completely void of . . . i digress
CHAPTER VII: Venice 1819 " . . . . . . . where are you cortisan? I cannot find you, you seem like a woman but you are simply too large, too grand and I am afraid"
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